After watching General Conference yesterday, I was struck by the incredibally important power of parenthood. . . both mothers and fathers. It has really been on my mind recently how VERY important this job that I have is and it sometimes makes me feel inadequate, frustrated and all sorts of other things. Anyway, this is what I've come up with recently.
#1. Being a mom takes a GREAT deal of sacrifice. I do love being the only one who really knows how my kids are feeling and what they need and being the one they come to when they are sad, frustrated, or happy. Jeremy tells me every day that he loves me, and I LOVE that. BUT, I gave up a career to be a mom. I really miss teaching in the schools and being involved in the interesting things that go on there. I also gave up all the extra income that provided for our family. This includes the ability to travel when we want, and do renovations when we want. These things frustrate me. . . A LOT. If you are not willing to sacrifice sleep, most nights for years, showers about half the mornings of your life, sanity, cleanliness, warm meals and your "party" lifestyle, you probablly shouldn't have kids.
#2. I LOVE each stage that my children go through. It's amazing to see them learn new things. Most recently, Karin is learning to understand her feelings and Jeremy has some pretty AMAZING questions about the world around him. It makes me SOO proud.
#3 To go along with #3, I feel guilty, sometimes, that I don't wish that my kids would stay small. EVERYONE around me feels sad when their kids reach a new milestone. . . everything from walking to going to school for the first time. I do NOT cry. I LOVE it. I LOVE that they are having new experiences. I LOVE that they are getting more independent.
#4. I get really frustrated with people who say "You're so lucky that you get to stay home with your kids." Yeah, I have news. It's not luck, it was a concious decision. It means that I don't wear whatever I want, eat whatever I want, involve my kids in all sorts of activities or (again) do the renovations that my house absolutely needs. It means that most days I'm DYING for adult conversation when my husband gets home and am bored halfway through the day, only to be shocked back into reality when Karin gets home from school and we have the MAD DASH until bedtime. BUT, the advantages cannot be overlooked. My kids KNOW that I'm always going to be around if they need me. They are secure in that knowledge so that when I DO leave them somewhere, they don't cry. They are both very healthy because I have time to make healthy dinners. They have an anchor as they deal with the changes that they face. It's worth it. . .
Yep, motherhood is hard, but it's worth it.
6 comments:
I just know you are a fantastic mother and we are excited about your new baby. Please give love and warmest regards to all your family when you go to Stacy's wedding. We are so happy for her too. Love, Aunt Di
I know what you mean about everyone telling your "You're lucky" to stay home. I always tell people I will be staying home and we will be poor but that was a decision we made.
I'm with you about kids growing up. I find that I enjoy the boys more and more as they grow. Milestones are the best!
I was that way about Harrison growing up until he turned 7, for some reason it was really hard for me, and it surprised me. I loved Elder Bednar's talk--especially the blessing he gave at the end. We aren't doing it alone--especially if we have the temple covenants. And even though it was a conscience decision to stay home with your kids, and a sacrifice financially and even for you personally, you are blessed that you could make that decision! There are many women who can't. (I realize some think they can't but really could, but there are a few who can't) The amazing thing, as long as we make our decision with the Lord, he will always strengthen us beyond our own capacities. That more than anything blesses our kids!
Thanks, Bonnie. It's nice to hear about how motherhood really is for you. And it's nice to know that in spite of the very real frustrations and feelings of inadequacy, there is also more than sufficient compensation. This gives me hope.
Oh Bonnie, I appreciate your honesty. Giving up my career was really hard for me, too -- as a mom, there are so many days when I get frustrated with how quickly my hard work is undone -- the cleaned room is a mess again, the delicious meal is eaten and another needs to be made, the formerly obedient child is now making a scene smack in the middle of Wegmans. It's HARD.
And yet, I love it. I love the snuggles, the funny things he says, the spontaneous moments when I can really appreciate the interesting little person he is. I also love knowing that I have GROWN so much as the result of the challenges (medical & otherwise) that motherhood has brought me.
Great post. I miss you guys.
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